I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
