nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize