One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
