This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
