She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
