How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize