So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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