he wants to bone in the snuggie
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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