im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
