I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
