Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
my liver is dry heaving
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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