I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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