You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I had to cum in my sink.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
