walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
