I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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