Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
