turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize