I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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