Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
