...so i touched it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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