her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
