I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize