You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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