pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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