So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
