Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
organizing the empties. That sober.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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