you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
zippers are such a cool invention
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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