Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
