I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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