I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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