it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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