You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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