You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
