i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
