she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
