addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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