in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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