can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
