i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
