If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
third nipple confirmed
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
