Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
