I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
