I wanna bring you to show and tell
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
