He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
