hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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