North Korea, Best Korea!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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