I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
