i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We're too hungover to prance.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
