After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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