How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
