Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
