I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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