He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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