I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
