I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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