Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
