I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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