i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
