haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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