I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think i got beer on your cat.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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