is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
