Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
